By: Ben Ezra
As you are reading this, about one million women all over the world are turning to their husbands or boyfriends, and asking them the million dollar question – the one that causes most men to hesitate before answering… And no, it's not, "Are you cheating on me?"
“Honey… Do these pants make me look fat?”
If this has never happened to you yet, let me prepare you, because it will! As much as you may want to avoid this question, it will eventually arise – there is no escape. But the question is: are you going to know how to properly deal with it when it comes along?
Well, before I get into how you should deal with a question of this sort, let me give you a couple of the most common answers that most men give:
- “Of course not honey… They make you look beautiful.”
- “Turn around… No sweetheart, they look great on you.”
- “No, it actually makes you look skinnier…”
- “What kind of stupid question is that?”
- “I don’t know… Don’t bother me.”
- “How am I supposed to know? Am I some fashion expert?”
I am not saying that there is anything wrong with any of the previous answers, but I am about to go against what every man out there thinks he should say to a woman when she asks this question… The next time a woman asks you, “Honey… Do these pants make me look fat?” You will pause for a second… Look her up and down (as if you are grading her), and then in an extremely serious tone say:
“Yes honey… You look extremely fat in those pants, I mean, when did you decide to stop taking care of yourself? This relationship is never going to work out fatty pants…”
And then, just before she is about to slap you… Walk up to her; gently spank her tush and say, “Actually, now that I have come to think of it, you would make a great J-LO – a sexier version.” If you say this in a teasingly fashion, and the woman who you are saying it to doesn't have a low self-esteem, isn’t actually really fat, and has a sense of humor, then chances are that the outcome will be positive.
It’s great to playfully tease women, and a question like this gives you the perfect opportunity to do so. She might end up playfully hitting you on the arm, while saying something like; “You’re bad!” to which you can reply, “That’s my name, don’t wear it out!”
Be different from every Joe Shmoe that tells women what they think they want to hear, and begin to be a bit unpredictable. This does not only keep things interesting, but it keeps things fun as well! It never hurts to tell a woman the opposite of what she wants to hear; as long as you say it in a teasingly and playful manner. This may very well work to your benefit.
Side effects may include: redness of the face from getting slapped, a broken nose from getting punched, or a more likely slap to the arm… Use at your own risk! ;-)
For more on being different, confident, & funny, click here.
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